Hobnobbin' with the Celebs

Or so they tell me I'll be, when I venture out to Commerce next spring to take part in the WPT Celebrity Invitational. I blogged about it a bit in my 2009 WSOP "Editor's Blog" available at PokerNews, which is where I'll be throwing up many of my idle/random thoughts the next several weeks. There are two or three funny tales from the first portion of the WSOP already in that blog, so stop on by. More here soon as well, now that the WSOP is in mid-stretch and everyone has hit their stride.

The Hammer Hunnerd

So I'm a bit superstitious. I have a two-sided Bodog card cap (my favorite of the three I carry and use), which I occasionally flip from red to black as I play to try and get out of a bad run of cards.

Once in a while, perhaps once a month, I'll look through a stack of bills I receive and see if there are any interesting serial numbers, for potential use in dollar poker or some other shenanigans.

This morning I went to fetch some hundreds out of a lockbox I have for paying for this Sunday's $1,500 HORSE tourney. The first bill I looked at, as photographed a little while ago by F-train:



That's a keeper!

That Texas Thing

I was on Skype with Kevmath yesterday when he mentioned to me that the Texas bill about the expansion of poker in that state had reached the floor for a second reading. He shipped the link so I tuned in to watch the carnage and the dreadful punnery.

That was quick.

I'd mention the line about laws and sausages, except the few minutes I saw was so unintentionally funny it reminded me more of the political shuck scene from Porky's II: The Next Day. Yes, it was that campy.

There's always next time, Texas.

Bordering on Incomprehensible

I was laughing at Shamus's recent post about "being played" by a hand, and had to wait less than a day before I encountered one that I think trumps his example. Sometimes the hand history alone tells the best story, so you be the judge:

Table '160514545 2' 9-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: KydenB (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: linnj7 (1430 in chips)
Seat 3: CawtBluffin (1500 in chips)
Seat 4: AKShotgun (1670 in chips)
Seat 5: kat_nire (1060 in chips)
Seat 6: acestrogen (1360 in chips)
Seat 7: scarecrow25 (1240 in chips)
Seat 8: britcliff (1770 in chips)
Seat 9: Sect7G (1970 in chips)
scarecrow25: posts small blind 10
britcliff: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to CawtBluffin [Ks Kh]
Sect7G: folds
KydenB: folds
linnj7: raises 20 to 40
CawtBluffin: raises 20 to 60
AKShotgun: calls 60
kat_nire: calls 60
acestrogen: folds
scarecrow25: folds
britcliff: folds
linnj7: calls 20
*** FLOP *** [3h 7h 9c]
linnj7: checks
CawtBluffin: bets 20
AKShotgun: raises 20 to 40
kat_nire: calls 40
linnj7: folds
CawtBluffin: calls 20
*** TURN *** [3h 7h 9c] [6d]
CawtBluffin: checks
AKShotgun: bets 40
kat_nire: calls 40
CawtBluffin: raises 40 to 80
AKShotgun: calls 40
kat_nire: calls 40
*** RIVER *** [3h 7h 9c 6d] [7s]
CawtBluffin: bets 40
AKShotgun: raises 40 to 80
kat_nire: folds
CawtBluffin: calls 40
*** SHOW DOWN ***
AKShotgun: shows [7c Jc] (three of a kind, Sevens)
CawtBluffin: mucks hand
AKShotgun collected 790 from pot
CawtBluffin said, "wow"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 790 | Rake 0
Board [3h 7h 9c 6d 7s]
Seat 1: KydenB folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: linnj7 folded on the Flop
Seat 3: CawtBluffin mucked [Ks Kh]
Seat 4: AKShotgun showed [7c Jc] and won (790) with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 5: kat_nire folded on the River
Seat 6: acestrogen (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: scarecrow25 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: britcliff (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: Sect7G folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Yep, it even illicited a "wow" from me, less than perfect behavior that that is. The crying call was most definitely worth the 40, just for the story. A three-bet cold-call with J-7 is just... out there. But it was sooooooted!

Looking for Some Help

A body or two with copy-editing experience and poker knowledge. Gud spelliers always a pluss. Drop me a line if interested.

Not a Whine

Logged my first-ever Sunday Million cash today and went out in 499th spot. Last hand, I had aces, other player had kings. King flopped, and it turned out another player had folded K-7, so it was ye olde one-outer.

Why no whine? Easy, really. I'd gotten it all in with A-K about three laps earlier and ran it square into pocket aces, and the board on that one ran out 6-5-7-8-9. We all have selective memory, but mine was honest, at least this once.

Next time!

Strangest Squeeze Play Ever

Once in a while, someone attempts a play that leaves you scratching your head and thinking that it must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

I was playing in an $11 re-buy on Merge, and had been fortunate to chip up from 2,000 to about 24,000 thanks to some bizarre (and by this point, departed) players. Blinds were 100/200 or 150/300 or something at this point, and I was in middle position when an EP player made what I euphemistically refer to as a donk-push from EP, for a little over 5,000. Quite a few players will do this, but a lot of players do this to protect marginal hands, such as middle pairs.

I had J-J and I had notes suggesting this player was likely to do these marginal pushes. I had the table covered at this point, so I just smooth-called. Lo and behold, the button pushes for about 8,000 more. I go, "Wait, what..." but given the amount already in the pot, it's a pretty easy call. I'm as much as a 30:70 dog against his range but the pot is offering more than 3:1, and even if I drop it I still have a playable stack.

So I call. The EP player shows 8-8; about what I expected. And the button shows... wait for it... 4-2 off.

Yes, I won the hand and went out to a nice overall lead, though I finished sixth. The question is, is there any possible rational explanation for trying to squeeze me out with 4-2?

I can't think of one. Even if I fold, which is unlikely, his 4-2 would still be racing against the EP player. The button would be getting slightly better than 2:1 odds on what's in there, but the problem is that 4-2 is almost certainly worse than a 1:2 dog against the EP's already-all-in range. And then there's me. I'm more likely to smooth with a monster and reraise with a solid-but-perhaps-not-awesome hand, though I did go against the grain here, mixing up my play. The button, though, could just as easily be three-betting into my K-K or A-A. The button simply got it in his head that he was going to make a move and disregarded all the available information.

What this player did, in effect, was take a very playable 13,000-chip stack and toss it out the window.

The lesson: While good players make their profits from bad players' plays, sometimes the depth of those bad plays is nigh on incomprehensible. Such was the case here.

On the Mend

Precious little poker content in this one, since between sleep and work, there hasn't been time for anything else.

So there I was weekend before last, becoming violently ill. High fever, profuse sweats, outbreak of something chicken pox-like all over my body. As Caldwell would say, "Bad times." I was too sick to get myself to the doctor for a couple of days at the outset (if that makes sense), and weak as a kitten. I ended up with two doctor's visits inside of 48 hours as they tried to figure it out. It was either one too many "healthful" exotic vegetables -- to which I'll now have a nasty allergy toward if that's the case -- or some nasty virus.

The doc can't rule out that I'm one of the rare people who actually contracted chicken pox for a second time (it does happen, and I'm not quite to the age of shingles) or managed to catch the rare alternate strain of the stuff that does exist. It's sort of moot at this point. There wasn't much for me except lots of bedrest, fluids, and some meds to slow down whatever breakout was occurring.

Poker? Went a week without playing a single hand, which fouled up yet another attempt to make it at least to Silver Star on Stars. I'm hoping to play a few SCOOP events at the bottom two tiers in the next couple of weeks so maybe I can make a dent in it for April. I also need to spend a few days with family in Wisconsin before heading west for the expected summer fun.

On Facebook

Yes, I've succumbed to the evil empire and am starting to add friends. I haven't verified my account yet so it's tossing me the two-word verification box. For April's, it tossed me "shipped" and "$600".

In her dreams. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.

Donking Your Way to Fun and Profit

Long-time readers of this blog know I have a healthy aversion to a certain starting hand in no-fold'em-hold'em, that being A-Q. While there are times that I'll play the hand as if it was aces, I've had so much bad luck with it, like Doyle Brunson, that I just won't play it hard a lot of the time. (It's about the only thing Doyle's game and mine have in common, by the way.)

But last night, I donked my way to victory with it.

'Twas the $2,500 Guarantee at Merge, a habitual stomping ground of mine. I've played very little overall the last two months; though I've always had decent success here, my sum total of poker on the network in the last three-weeks-plus has been six MTTs and a single paltry sit-'n'-go. No cash play whatsoever. Busy times.

Last night, though, I found myself with a couple of free hours and fired up the old $2,500. I was fortunate to double up early, then did nothing for at least an hour as a good chunk of the field passed me by. With the top ten cashing, I found myself bouncing between 13th and 17th and in desperate need of a double-up. It turned out I picked up not one but two double-ups as the final table approached, getting the chips in good both times and having the hands hold up.

Once in a while it's nice to run well.

I got to the final table fourth or fifth in chips and in no huge hurry, with an aggressive leader captaining the table and two or three extreme short stacks in need of departure times. Then I picked up pocket kings and dispatched one of the not-short stacks, who had pushed from the under the gun with pocket tens. My kings held and I was near the lead, and I stayed there, swapping the top spot with zgfjsh, the earlier leader, until we were down to four. Then he took a big pot to move out in front, and when we got down to three I was narrowly in third place, though not in terrible shape. Zgfjsh was on my right and MK-something was on my left, and they'd both shown a tendency to push hard at perceived weakness. I used that against the MK-something guy when I found another monster pair and let him get it all in on a 9-high flop. Soon enough we were down to two of us, me and zgfjsh.

I had perhaps 70 big blinds, zgfjsh 60 or 65, when the final hand arrived. I was on the bottom and found A-Q, my long-time nemesis. I raised three times zg's big blind, and he called. He had shown a tendency to three-bet with his big hands so I was pretty sure he didn't have a monster, but instead had something he wanted to see a flop with it.

The flop came 7d-Jd-Qc, I believe. (It was definitely two-suited though I forget which suit.) He checked, I bet about pot, and he check-raised me for about two-thirds of his stack.

Hmmmm, what does he have? I don't think he has an overpair, and I don't think he'd check-raise me on the flop with a set, so again, what's he have? To me the options are total air, a strong semi-bluff hand such as two diamonds or K-10 or 10-9, a hand I beat or tie such as A-Q, K-Q or A-J, or possibly two pair. He's aggressive enough to check-raise with total air, so that's a factor here. Given that I've ruled out the set, two pair is the only holding that beats me. I hate A-Q, and top-pair/top-kicker is foldable with as many chips as we have. And yet... I figure I'm ahead of his likely range. The pot-commit bet of his is as likely to be a ruse as not, too. I'm pretty sure it's the flush draw, so I jam... and he of course calls, being pot-committed.

Turns out I was wrong. He shows J-7 for bottom two and my A-Q is in trouble. It's okay, though, since the turn is a five and the river another five, and I donk out a better two pair and the victory.

See, you don't have to be good all the time. Being lucky after coming to the wrong decision works once in a while, too.

Long Time No Post

Little to report on from my ever-rare excursions to the felt, hence the momentary downtime in spewing pixels. I tried the first of the BBT events a couple of weeks back, but went out early after getting all the chips in good against Missy Hoy early on. I flopped a straight while he flopped top set, and the chips went in on the turn. He then caught a queen on the river for quads and used my chips as part of his rush to riches.

So be it.

February pretty much sucked for me that way, pokerwise. I took a few shots, both live and online, and... nada. My Stars account went into a rough stretch as well, with a tough run in turbos, MTTs and cash games causing an overall 25% drop in my bankroll there last month. More, actually, if you count a nice coupon that I took one of those shots with, and went nowhere.

The last week to ten days, then, has been a process of grinding it back up. And so I have, returning to those 18-player turbos where I have a consistent edge. I fire up three or four at a time and replace as needed, usually with a TV or something on in the background. The result: I should be able to sample a few SCOOP events as time allows.

I've noticed, though, that the tight focus on the smaller turbos often takes just a bit of my edge off in some of the larger MTTs. Between the time demands of late for the work stuff, and perhaps just a bit of tilt, I hadn't been showing the patience needed to run deep in anything with a big field. Big MTTs can require giving up big hands once in a while, and I've been way too willing to donk it up with TPTK of late. In the small turbos that's generally a hand to go to war with, but not necessarily so in MTTs, at least not until the average stack drops below 20 big blinds or so and it's reduced to one- or two-move poker.

I've noticed a fresh surge of bad players of late, populating the turbos. I've also noticed an uptick at lower and mid levels of a certain type of turbo player, who plays ultra tight early on, not getting into any hands in the first three levels or so without a veritable monster. In addition, if they do play anything early on, they're coming in for a raise of eight or nine times the big blind, with an example being open-raising 250 at the 15/30 level. With starting stacks of 1,500 in these things, what they're trying to do is induce chasers with hands such as middle pairs and A-Q and A-J and the like, all while denying proper post-flop odds in most circumstances to crack a monster pair. Sooner or later, of course, someone will look them up, and if it turns out they've been overraising with the suspected monster, it's note time.

I make that special note whenever I see one of these players, because if they're willing to lay out their early game plan so plainly, I can take chips from them. I'll show them due respect later on in the turbos, but whenever I know what they're up to, I have the edge. Edge means chips, chips mean money. Easy formula.

Looking for Solutions

One of these days, I'm a-gonna recapture my magic at the table. I thought I had turned the corner earlier this month, but an extended downswing in the last week has me right back to square one.

I'm also going to switch up the sites I play on, although its been rare of late when I've had the chance to play. Since I'm on this slide at Stars and Merge recently, and I'm saving my meager Tilt 'roll for some of those BBT4 thingies, I plan on sampling several poker tournaments at Bodog in the near future. As always, the overlays there are nice, and there's something to be said about factoring in overlay existence as part of proper game selection.

There Comes a Time

The poker world is quite volatile. I'm sipping a few beers this evening, playing a couple of SNGs out of boredom. Not really enjoying them. For the first time in my life, I really don't want much to do at the moment with poker. Dreaming of other things, because somewhere over the last however long, it just became the gig.

I had thought about moving out to Vegas. I've decided against that for now, in the midst of a lot of the economic hardships facing the world. It's not a good town for me anyway; I tend to walk around with a low-grade agitation usually exacerbated by the workers who treat their customers' money with a sense of entitlement. In five days in the Gold Coast, I walked out on two different would-be meals and a drink due to utterly non-existent service. It's their loss, I figure, because if I get even halfway decent service, I tip really well.

It's still one up on last year when my meal at Ping Pang Pong featured a side of Chicken Fried Hair.

This year's stay featured three days of intermittent internet due to a broken cable, but at least they were good enough to make a bill adjustment. Better than the fuckknobs at Budget Rent-A-Car. I'll share the best scam ever with y'all here. I ordered a special debit card for use with my rental car, and I received the card I was pleased to discover that it had rental collision insurance, allowing one to escape (without penalty) the $23-and-change Budget wants to pad the daily bill with.

So I try to decline, and I'm then handed a special $39 "downtime" daily charge that Budget has instituted in Vegas and four other cities, which allows them to bill for time a car is disabled and unable to be rented. This fee, of course, is waived if you buy the $23 insurance from Budget and not use your card waiver.

Can you say "scam"? I thought you could. Interesting that this special downtime charge is not mentioned anywhere on the Budget website.

I looked at a few apartments while there and was pretty disinterested with what I saw. The one-bedrooms within a couple miles of the Strip are crap and the better ones farther south are expensive. Yet another incentive to not move there.

I was disappointed at how few people I ran into that I knew. I met up with Schecky and Harold Check on Friday at the Bellagio, and I guess Michalski saw me playing at some point. I ran into Michalski two days later at the WSOP Academy when I bopped over to say hi to the folks I know there -- Brandon and Alex and Mark. Had a nice chat with Michalski but that was about it for the weekend.

The best angleshoot I saw on the weekend was from an Aussie guy named Graham in Thursday's event. He tried to run a bluff but ran into a rivered flush from a guy who wasn't going away. This Graham guy bet the river, was called, said "You win," mucked his hand, and convinced the newbie that he indeed had to show his hand (7-5 of the flush-making hearts) to claim the pot. LOL that. He called the clock on me in a different hand a little later, after about 60 seconds of pondering in a big hand, flashed his aces at me after I folded, then had the audacity to ask what I'd folded.

Nice try, sir. Try that somewhere else. I had a pure math question since I'd seen the flop with 7-7 and the flop came 8-6-5. It was a close decision but a correct fold, which I noodled out about the same time he clocked me. Doubly correct considering the weaker players at the table.

So I waited most of the minute anyway. He turned out to be a decent enough guy to talk to but I was secretly pleased when he went to the rail in a 50,000 pot the next day, when we ended up at the same table again. All in preflop, his aces were cracked by A-K. Karma that, baybee.

Slip Slidin' Away

Some days are rough. Yesterday was a real bad one and today's likely to be about the same. I've enjoyed playing in the DSE the past two days but it's an omen of greater things -- my luck is clearly nowhere at the moment.

The first day I had a table with at least five horrid players, and a couple of those were replaced as they departed with still other easy marks. Alas, my card distribution was just too poor to overcome. In nearly six hours of play, I saw exactly one pocket pair over eights -- kings, which got no action -- and found A-K exactly twice. I scrambled and stole and picked spots and played hard with no chips all day, and finally went out in Level 9 (40-minute levels) when, in the small blind with a measly 9,000 in chips, I correctly picked off a button steal from a woman with a suited 5-3. (She could play, but was in the minority here.) I had A-8 off so it was a likely call anyway, but I thought it was good all along. Of course, the big blind then wakes up with kings....

Yesterday, I had better cards but a much tougher table, filled with visiting internet pros and tough young locals. I hung around for two hours essentially at par, moved up to about 20,000 shortly after the first break, made an overaggressive play and got picked off for about 5,000, got short-stacked, doubled through, picked off an even shorter stack, then, on my third table of the day, got bad-beated to the door when some really fat slobby donkey tried to push me off my big blind with J-6 suited (clubs). I'm fat, and this guy had me by a good 150. He jammed, I had 10-10 and snap-called, and watched the board flop a jack, the turn bring a ten (clubs), and the river the stupid four of clubs to knock me out.

This was some kind of clown, in the sense it's hard to imagine anyone wanting to be married to him. He had a half-full water bottle and a used kleenex in my drink holder. He fetched his water bottle -- after I requested he move it -- but left the kleenex behind. So I banged the cup holder free from underneath the table, dumped his snotball catcher with a bit of a show and moved on; he's not tilting me if that's his intent, but I don't mind him thinking that if that's his plan.

It was about a lap later when he crapped out his flush. Still, I take one grain of solace. I'd peeked early that hand, as I'm wont to do about one hand per lap after listening to Joe Navarro's seminar about reading other opponents. No way Mr. Snotblubber makes a move on me if he gets a read I'm sitting on an auto-play hand.

As for the cards themselves, not much I can do. And it was again Level 9, by the way. I finished something like 95 or 100 out of 295.

But a real bad mood for me -- no more poker for sure this trip. It's just general life tilt. When I get real real down certain songs come to mind, and I'm reminded this morning of a passage from Paul Simon's "Slip Slidin' Away":

"I know a woman
Became a wife
These are the very words she uses to describe her life
She said a good day
Ain't got no rain
She said a bad day's when I lie in bed and think of things that might have been"

One of the best songwriters of our time. Exuent stage left.